Confession

Remember how I told you that my first confession was coming? Well it happened. For me it was one of the most traumatic things I have ever had to do. I cried (you know that ugly snotty cry) and I shook uncontrollably. Basically I was close to a nervous breakdown. Believe it or not I am not really a big crier, yeah I tear up when I was those you tube videos of solders surprising their love ones. So this was a total mess, me I was the mess. I had to face a lot of my own fears and go against my nature. I went alone (not a big deal I like solitary time. What mother doesn't) here I was sitting in a group of people. I just get really nervous around people I do not know. Then I had to walk over the the priest face to face and talk about my sins. When you are an abused kid (at least I did), you learn not to talk about it, to hide the bad things. I confessed the biggest thing on my heart and mind and then panicked an confessed to not so detrimental sins like over indulging in wine and gossip. The priest had to tell me to calm down twice. I am so sure that I did everything completely wrong.

It was traumatic and hard but when I got up to talk to the priest I felt like God put his hand on my shoulder and walked with me. So I know in my heart that he knows I did everything I could personally do and that he knew my struggle and my strength. I know that I was forgiven.

I only hope that confession gets easier.

I hope that your day is bright with hope, Love and Laughter. Be well my friends.