Lessons Learned Nov. 13

Lessons learned a weekly debrief

Yesterday I got to spend the whole day with James just him and I for the very first time. We had a lot of fun we went to Chuck-E-Cheese and played the games for an hour. We went for a long walk we started out running and on the way back Jame got to have a piggy back ride. We ate frozen grapes and watched T.V. and we also made a pumpkin cake. Yum! We ended the night with two stories, Five Little Monkeys, and We're Going on a Bear Hunt. After James told me he was going to have dreams of monkeys and bears. It was a stress free day. I think I might need to make more time to go out on one on one dates with my boys. I do love being a mama.

Damian and Rob went on a camping trip with the cub scouts. I am sure they had lots of fun too. They are not home yet so it is hard to know but with how excited they were yesterday morning I know it was a fun time.

It is state law to have your pets fixed in the state of Texas.

This week in News Stories have been horrible and sad. The Penn State (House of Horrors), The mother who left her two year old in the car (maybe), and finally all of the horrible child abuse cases and the death of at least three children that are being blamed on How to Train up a Child. I don't want to dwell to much on these things but I do want to mention them.

In the case of Penn State and all of the writers and supporters of the Coach, All of the people who witnessed any act of child abuse and did not report it or try to stop it are just as guilty. If a report was brought to the attention of another person they had a Moral obligation to turn it in. These people choose to cover it up and the abuse continued on for 15 years at least! So please I am tired of reading how we are human and make mistakes. It could have been your son. I bet you would not be singing their praises then. My husband and I sat down and talked to our young boys about Predators who are out to hurt them. About what was going on at this school and what they would have to do if anyone anywhere ever approached them. It is a sad world that we need to warn our children of these sexual predators. I want to encourage you to have a conversation with your children, so that they are armed with an idea of what to do. Have that communication open so that they know that they can tell you and you will stop it after then first time not after they can not take the abuse any longer. Arm your children. We told the kids to scream as loud as they can, to fight kick, bite, punch and run to us. We told them that by drawing attention to themselves that the predator will most likely stop because he knows what he is doing is wrong. It was a hard conversation but I am glad that we talked to the boys about it.

The Mother that left her two year old in the car so she could walk a mile with her four year old to the gas station. Never leave your child unattended. Even if she is just stupid, she may never see that little boy. Today I read that her story was very similar to a recent Law and Order episode. If that woman is lying I hope that our justice system is able to convict her of a crime.

Finally the book on How to Train up a Child. Before it was in the news I had never heard of it. The people who wrote it should know that they fed the fire with gas. Their book tells people how to beat a child. A child abuser might do it anyway but with fuel saying it is God's way, these poor children died hating God. They did not teach them to love God. Here is a good article on Spare The Rod and spoil the child http://www.religioustolerance.org/spankin8.htm. It says that it is not in the bible at all. In fact according to this article theses are the most commonly misqouted bible verses
 Prov 13:24: "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes
Prov 19:18: "Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying."
Prov 22:15: "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."
Prov 23:13: "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die."
Prov 23:14: "Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell
Prov 29:15: "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame

Hebrews 12:6-7: "...the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son. Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?"

I checked in my bible in order to verify these verses. All of these verses are about disciplining a child so that the child will learn from his actions, that the parent should not make the discipline less because it hurts their heart. I can tell you that when James is in time out crying my heart hurts. I do not feel as if God wants me to beat him in Gods name. I would also like to point out that Proverbs is in the old testament as Christians (this is what I am and not everyone but I have very limited knowledge on other religions) we believe that Jesus was the Messiah that he was born of the Virgin Mary and suffered and died for our sins and he rose again on the third day. Jesus came to teach us to love one another. Beyond that God gave us common sense. I was an a abused child and I never learned anything but fear, humiliation, and hate. Maybe I grew up fine but a lot of people don't. Abuse is not discipline, it is an over use of power over another human being. We do not hit our children but I my boys are well behaved (at least when we are out in public most of the time).

I am getting lost on a tangent, so it is time for me to step off my little soap box. The bottom line is that if we treat our children with love, and act in ways that try to protect them the world would be a better place. I am sorry to spend so much time on this but this issue has been on my mind. I know you my friends are good people so I hope you did not feel attacked in anyway.

What else did I learn this week. . . I read some African Folk Tales which are crazy! Many of them have violence against children but they are all rescued by a God or given special powers in order to teach a lesson on discrimination. Many of them were fun to read. They boys and I watched the one the of stories Anansi the Spider Man which turned out to be lots of fun. If you have the chance I recommend watching it.

I am sure I learned more then this but it is getting a little long and I need to get myself and James ready for Mass.

I hope that your week is filled with sweet lessons, love, and laughter. Be well my friends.