Today I was thinking (surprising I know) about all of the
dreams, hopes, goals, and random things that generally make me really very happy.
I love being a mother, a wife, and I
love being home with my children. I also love a really good scenic route, where
the roads twist and wind and suddenly you are faced with impossible beauty. I
love taking life slowly, getting lost, and falling down. I love mistakes and
socks. I love to learn and I adore a fantastic challenge. Really I often find
myself struggling to complete something (a paper for school, a dress, a
painting, a complicated recipe, a story, crochets, and so on), I ask myself out
loud, "Why have I done this again!" But I am smiling because I know I
can do it. I try to teach my children that anything worth having takes hard work
and lots of mistakes.
I love mistakes and mishaps. That moment when you know how
to fix the problem and do it better next time is the best feeling in the world.
Awesome. I am not perfect and between you and me I do not want to be either. Perfection
is boring. I am not saying not to be great at something. That is not the case.
What I mean is never stop trying to be better because once you (my own belief
only) think you cannot get any better you stagnate. I never want to stop
growing as a person. So hey I invite you to critic me (nicely). I know that my grammar
needs improvement. I know that I can be quirky and messy and slightly to the left.
All of those things are pieces of me.
Sometimes I worry a lot more than necessary. I bite my lower
lib and consider the path I have taken. From my current view point it looks
long and there is a few twists and turns ahead that make my heart beat faster.
What is around the bend? Who am I going to be? I am I too old to . . .? Sometimes it feels more like panic and
it can be extremely destructive. Where is my crystal ball? What are the mysteries
waiting for me?
Most of these questions have no right or wrong answer. Right
now I am scheduled to graduate college with a Bachelors Degree in English in
2018. It feels like forever and ever. Really I get to teach my children what to
expect out of college. That it is never too late to chase a dream or to change
a dream or take a chance and to believe in themselves. They see me struggle,
but they see me succeed too. I hope that when they are adults facing the world
they take the road less traveled. They always know that they are worth it, and
deserve to be happy.
As you know all know I am a writer. That is what makes me
the happiest. My heart beats lyrics, and I bleed ink. Okay not really but when
I write I feel accomplished. I am proud and at peace. I have known that I have
wanted to be a writer since I was eight. But through a series of very unfortunate
events I had no confidence in my ability. I did not know my own worth. That is
really why I chose English as a degree to help me improve, to help me build my
confidence. So when the time comes I will take a leap of faith and finally
learn to fly. Yes, I know that I can be a writer without education. For me it
is a milestone that I want to place on my road, A sign that says, "Oh,
Yes. I can."
Do you know what makes you happy? That little whisper at the
center of your heart. Yes, that one. Be happy my friend. Make mistakes, take a
chance and follow your dreams. Yes, you can. You can do anything you want to
do. You are amazing and worth it.
I think we need a song
I love this song. It makes me happy.
Oh be doo, Okay, it is still my favorite movie.
This is my all time favorite track, song, music. It speaks to me.
I hope that your day is filled with inspiration, love, and laughter. Be well my friend.
But I have a dirty little secret. . .
