It is a funny question on the outside it is easy I am a wife, a mother, a cook, a baker, a painter, a writer, etc. But what about on the inside, the deepest part of the soul. The secret parts. Well I am unlikely to share all my secrets today but maybe ten will be a good start.
1. I love socks, bright colorful socks. They make me happy when I have them on. They are easy to match no matter how many loose pairs there are in a pile. My favorite gift anytime, also my number one request for all present giving days. Socks all is right with a beautiful clean pair of socks. Gloomy day no worries I have sunshine and rainbows.
2. My biggest life lesson is when I held my Eldest son for the first time. I looked in to his cloudy grey eyes and knew for the first time in my life that love was free and didn't hurt. The second was when my youngest son was born (I have two) and I looked in to his bright eyes and knew love grows the more you give it away.
3. My biggest goal in life is to be happy. For the most part I am. When I am asked how I am I always say good. I am good. I am happy. Because even when I am down saying that I am doing well makes me feel better. My children are happy. I am still in love with my husband so what else is there. I am happy.
4.I don't wear make up as a statement of self. I hide behind a mask of make up as a teenager to hide all the hurtful things I heard and knew. When I got my first place I woke up one morning and looked at my self and decided I wasn't going to hide anymore and so I don't wear the mask. Well except for in pictures a girl wants to look good in a photograph that hangs on the wall for all to see.
5. I have a hard time talking to new people. Not because I am shy but a deeper crazier fear enforced in childhood. That once someone finds out who I really am they will leave. Almost every word my mother told me when I was growing up. No one could want me. Don't fret I am out growing it slowly and with difficultly. Old habits die hard. This way I know I am lucky to be loved by all the choose to stick around.
6. I love words. I think they are amazing in all their glory. I love qoutes, and poetry. I lke to sit and read poems over and over until I sink in to the meaning and they are tattooed onto my soul. I love to write poetry when I am was dishes or with washable crayon in the shower. I feel whole when I am writing.
7. I love that my husband likes to research plan out everything he does. I like to lay in bed next to him and listen to him explain permaculture to me. I like to let him take control. It makes me feel safe.
8. I try to see things from different angles. Sometimes I will think about something for hours or days until I have seen it from all angles and can make a informed remark. All stories have two sides, there is never just one. Sometimes I say the wrong thing when I hear something for the first time and wish I could call back and take it back when I have thought of the right thing. This transfers in to what is going on in the world. Take health care I will read five to ten different articles on the same thing just so that I feel like I have all the information that I can to make up my decision on the matter.
9. I want to live a sustainable life for my family. I want a grey water system in my future forever home. I think it is the greatest thing man has invented and want to know why it's not standard in today's buildings. Also solar power is amazing we could all get a couple of panels on our roofs and collect some free sun power. Combine solar power with existing energy we could live sustainably. Also victory gardens from the 1940's should come back minus all the chemicals. Really who said everyone had to grow grass and waste water. Why can't we all grow a vegetable garden in our back yards and be able to save on our grocery bills, and live a healthier life style. Just because you can go to the store to buy junk food doesn't mean you have to give up a cheap healthy snack that keeps giving to your family. Really spend a ten dollars on your favorite vegetable seeds and plant them and watch them grow. Then when it is time to pick a cucumber and all you have to do is rinse it off and eat it still warm from the sun you will know what fresh taste like.
10. I love to read and when Damian was born I decided to read chapter books to him. I thought that we could teach them to love books and avoid having to read the same book over and over. It worked both boys love to be read to. I love to listen to them use their imaginations playing Harry Potter, or Peter Pan. Learning about crazy monsters and watching their eyes light up at the possibility.
I love my life and now you know a little more about me some things that are good and aome that is not so good.
I am who I am and I am a work in progress.
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