Friday, December 31, 2010
Almost New Years
Well this year has been full of ups and downs for our family. We moved making most of my goals for last year moot. I gained twenty or so pounds during our move to Texas and traveling around the country. We almost stayed on track with the no credit use, we lasted eleven months all together. We took apart our little vegetable patch in Florida. We bought a house in San Antonio and have started planting fruit trees and berry bushes in the back yard. My children have grown and grown. The year seems to have disappeared before our eyes. I am hoping that this year slows down so we can enjoy it. I guess it is time for new year resolutions, but I will post those in the next week. Goodbye 2010.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Glory To God
This morning I woke up with this hymn playing in my head. I don't know why but as I made breakfast I felt compelled to sing. Sing I did while I mixed the batter for the apple cinnamon muffins. Then as they baked I went and looked it up online:
Every night as I lay in bed and pray before I fall asleep I pray for guidance, patience, and strength. While I sang along to the song in my head I felt like I was answered. There is something truly beautiful about this song so I have listened to it in it's many forms online today. The music in Mass is beautiful. I love it when the priest sing while they prepare Communion. Maybe this song was to tell me that I am not alone here. Let me remind you that even though I attend Mass I am not yet Catholic. We are searching for a church we belong too. We have been to four here in as many months. I am off track. Yesterday I was praying for the lord to walk with me. Today he lifted me. I am always amazed that the glory of god can appear in simple humble ways, a song to lift my spirits, a soft breeze on a bike ride, a child's smile, these are the places I have seen the lord.
My question is if I know the lord and I am trying to give faith to my children why do I feel like a lost sheep?
Glory To God In The Highest
Glory to God in the highest
And peace to His people on earth
Lord God, Heavenly King, Almighty God and Father
We worship You
We give You thanks
We praise You for Your glory
And peace to His people on earth
Lord God, Heavenly King, Almighty God and Father
We worship You
We give You thanks
We praise You for Your glory
Lord Jesus Christ, only Son of the Father
Lord God, Lamb of God
You take away the sins of the world
Lord, have mercy on us
You are seated at the right hand of the Father
Receive our prayer
Lord God, Lamb of God
You take away the sins of the world
Lord, have mercy on us
You are seated at the right hand of the Father
Receive our prayer
For You alone are the Holy One
For You alone are the Lord
For You alone are the Most High
Jesus Christ
With the Holy Spirit
In the glory of God the Father
For You alone are the Lord
For You alone are the Most High
Jesus Christ
With the Holy Spirit
In the glory of God the Father
Amen
Every night as I lay in bed and pray before I fall asleep I pray for guidance, patience, and strength. While I sang along to the song in my head I felt like I was answered. There is something truly beautiful about this song so I have listened to it in it's many forms online today. The music in Mass is beautiful. I love it when the priest sing while they prepare Communion. Maybe this song was to tell me that I am not alone here. Let me remind you that even though I attend Mass I am not yet Catholic. We are searching for a church we belong too. We have been to four here in as many months. I am off track. Yesterday I was praying for the lord to walk with me. Today he lifted me. I am always amazed that the glory of god can appear in simple humble ways, a song to lift my spirits, a soft breeze on a bike ride, a child's smile, these are the places I have seen the lord.
My question is if I know the lord and I am trying to give faith to my children why do I feel like a lost sheep?
Saturday, October 16, 2010
A lost travler looking for the light
I know I haven't posted an update to our goals for the year in a couple of months. I will get to it but not today. Today I want to talk about searching for meaning, a higher power, God. I have always wanted to believe in God but I feel as if I have taken a left turn and missed that part of childhood. So believe it or not I want God in our daily lives. I have seen his work first hand through my children and my husbands complete recovery from cancer. I know God is Good and I know he is always there. I know he listens when we ask him too. What I am not good at is prayer. I have heard the most beautiful prayers that touch the soul on the wings of angels. Mostly when I pray I ask for strength, guidance, patience, or I pray short prayers for those I love or ask for it. I want my children to have faith, where they can turn to God when they need him most. So how do you have a relationship when you have no church? When you don't know how to join the church. I feel Lost.
There was an Angel figurine that I want it is an Angel on her knees praying and across her belly it says Lord Hear our prayer. I thought it was profound and beautiful. Isn't that what we are always asking. Lord hear me. Lord Lead me. Lord Help me. Lord Know me. Maybe we should go to him and know him and his glory. The question I have is How do I get there?
God is God, and God is Good.
There was an Angel figurine that I want it is an Angel on her knees praying and across her belly it says Lord Hear our prayer. I thought it was profound and beautiful. Isn't that what we are always asking. Lord hear me. Lord Lead me. Lord Help me. Lord Know me. Maybe we should go to him and know him and his glory. The question I have is How do I get there?
God is God, and God is Good.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Painting the house Yellow.
So for the last four weeks I have been trying to pick out paint colors for my kitchen and the living room. It is mostly an open floor plan so I want to choose the right three colors. Something that I am happy to be in and comforted by. A soothing popping wonder color that I am starting to doubt is out there. I have been pulling out my hair because I hate the vomit colors that came with the house. Yes that is harsh and everyday I get more complacent. I don’t want to get used to it, the mustard on my living room walls is horrible. I want some livable colors. I just didn’t know that a yellow kitchen was so hard to match or how many yellows there are. I want a green and orange but what shade of them? My brain is melting and boiling. It should not be so hard to pick paint colors. I am tempted to just go pick some colors and say this is what I want. Bam! It’s done. I’ll read about it to death stare hopelessly at little sample colors. I would be happy to paint a couple of samples on the walls to choose but I am having trouble narrowing it down.
I know that you have been wondering what we decided to paint the ugly kitchen. I am happy to report that it is now a very bright happy Yellow, Acorn Squash in fact. It took 3 coats to make the old ugly kitchen disappear. It is now bright and wonderful. We are going to paint the ceiling a light green, celery. I now love the kitchen.
Now what shade of orange to paint the rest of the house. Pumpkin Pleasure or Autumn Harvest. I really like squash and Autumn. The office will be a bright blue in the future and the boys room will be painted a light blue. My bathroom will follow the blue path. Hum My bathroom is getting a nice serene blue to match my bedroom. Maybe I should find a nice different color for the boys like green, or something. I have time and their walls are a greyish white color. I bet the paint was on sale when the last owners painted.
All the same a month in and it is beginning to feel like home. We have another 4-10 years before we move again. We have only just begun!
I know that you have been wondering what we decided to paint the ugly kitchen. I am happy to report that it is now a very bright happy Yellow, Acorn Squash in fact. It took 3 coats to make the old ugly kitchen disappear. It is now bright and wonderful. We are going to paint the ceiling a light green, celery. I now love the kitchen.
Now what shade of orange to paint the rest of the house. Pumpkin Pleasure or Autumn Harvest. I really like squash and Autumn. The office will be a bright blue in the future and the boys room will be painted a light blue. My bathroom will follow the blue path. Hum My bathroom is getting a nice serene blue to match my bedroom. Maybe I should find a nice different color for the boys like green, or something. I have time and their walls are a greyish white color. I bet the paint was on sale when the last owners painted.
All the same a month in and it is beginning to feel like home. We have another 4-10 years before we move again. We have only just begun!
Cream of Mushroom Soup
One hint before you start chopped everything before you heat your first pan. This may be common sense but I don't have all the change all the time. It will save you a ton of time if you just cut the stuff and put them aside in bowls until your ready. Other then the cutting it is an easy recipe to follow. Also turn the chicken stock on to boil on medium high when you start so that by the time you are done cutting it will be ready to use.
For 6-8 people
1/4 cup minced onions (So I just chopped them up, if you have a food processor use it if not dice the onion about half of one)
3 TB butter
Cook the onions slowly in butter for 8 minutes until they are tender but not brown.
3 TB Flour Add flour to the onions over med heat for 3 minutes with out browning.
6 cups (3-4 14oz cans) Boiling Chicken Broth
1/3 Bay leaf (just throw one in)
1/8 tsp thyme
2 parsley sprigs
1 LB of whole mushrooms (chop the stems and slice the caps)
Off Heat, beat in the boiling chicken broth. (If you are using a frying pan for your onions you are really just mixing in some of the chicken broth to make it liquid then add it to the bigger pot and just use your whisk until it is all blended) Season with Salt and pepper to taste. Stir in the Mushroom stems and simmer partially covered for 20 minutes. Stirring occasionally. You need to strain, pressing juices out of the mushrooms. (told you not to worry about the onions being minced or not;) Return soup to pan.
2 Tb butter
The sliced mushroom caps (save some slices to top the soup)
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp lemon juice
Melt butter in a separate saucepan. (Use your onion pan. You don't have to wash it in between) When it is foaming, toss in mushroom caps, salt, and lemon juice. Cover and cook on low for about 5 minutes
Pour the mushrooms and their juices into the strained soup base Simmer for ten minutes. *If not to be served immediately, set aside uncovered, and film the surface with a spoonful of cream or milk. Reheat to simmer just before proceeding to the step below, which will take 2-3 minutes.
2 egg yolks
1/2 -3/4 c Whipping cream
Beat the egg yolks and cream in a mixing bowl. Then beat in hot soup a little at a time until a cup has been added. Gradually stir the egg mix into the soup. Stir over medium low heat for a minute or two to poach the egg yolks, but do not let the soup come near a simmer.
1-3 softened butter
Off heat stir in butter 1 TB at a time. Pour the soup into a tureen or soup cups and decorate with optional mushrooms and herbs. Minced 3 TB parsley or chervil.
The Recipe is from Mastering The Art Of French Cooking by Julia Child page 40 I changed some things that seemed easier to me. Let me know if my little tidbits are helpful or not. If not I can always just post the recipes... Good Luck, and let me know if you try it out.
Happy Eating
For 6-8 people
1/4 cup minced onions (So I just chopped them up, if you have a food processor use it if not dice the onion about half of one)
3 TB butter
Cook the onions slowly in butter for 8 minutes until they are tender but not brown.
3 TB Flour Add flour to the onions over med heat for 3 minutes with out browning.
6 cups (3-4 14oz cans) Boiling Chicken Broth
1/3 Bay leaf (just throw one in)
1/8 tsp thyme
2 parsley sprigs
1 LB of whole mushrooms (chop the stems and slice the caps)
Off Heat, beat in the boiling chicken broth. (If you are using a frying pan for your onions you are really just mixing in some of the chicken broth to make it liquid then add it to the bigger pot and just use your whisk until it is all blended) Season with Salt and pepper to taste. Stir in the Mushroom stems and simmer partially covered for 20 minutes. Stirring occasionally. You need to strain, pressing juices out of the mushrooms. (told you not to worry about the onions being minced or not;) Return soup to pan.
2 Tb butter
The sliced mushroom caps (save some slices to top the soup)
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp lemon juice
Melt butter in a separate saucepan. (Use your onion pan. You don't have to wash it in between) When it is foaming, toss in mushroom caps, salt, and lemon juice. Cover and cook on low for about 5 minutes
Pour the mushrooms and their juices into the strained soup base Simmer for ten minutes. *If not to be served immediately, set aside uncovered, and film the surface with a spoonful of cream or milk. Reheat to simmer just before proceeding to the step below, which will take 2-3 minutes.
2 egg yolks
1/2 -3/4 c Whipping cream
Beat the egg yolks and cream in a mixing bowl. Then beat in hot soup a little at a time until a cup has been added. Gradually stir the egg mix into the soup. Stir over medium low heat for a minute or two to poach the egg yolks, but do not let the soup come near a simmer.
1-3 softened butter
Off heat stir in butter 1 TB at a time. Pour the soup into a tureen or soup cups and decorate with optional mushrooms and herbs. Minced 3 TB parsley or chervil.
The Recipe is from Mastering The Art Of French Cooking by Julia Child page 40 I changed some things that seemed easier to me. Let me know if my little tidbits are helpful or not. If not I can always just post the recipes... Good Luck, and let me know if you try it out.
Happy Eating
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
August Goal Update
I just realized that I was rambling and really off subject. I am good at that for sure. Anyway here is my updated goal list....
Family goals
1. No credit use- We have done Amazing! We have been in the middle of moving and took a trip to Oregon, stopping at hotels along the way. Basically eating out every meal for 2 months straight and we have not used credit yay! That feels good even though our savings account is moaning and groaning with hunger. Meaning that is about empty. Let me tell you it is really up lifting to know that we have control over our money and not the other way around.
2. To pay off 5 of 6 bills- Starting debt- $17928.61 August Debt 159581.56
Ok so we bought a house and I thought I should through it into the whole mix. Which makes us look like we went crazy but we choose wisely. We debated the benefits of renting and buying. So far it is really nice to know that I can paint the walls the colors I like and I know that when we move I don't have to paint them white. Really we owe 9932.56 in total small debt car included. Our car will be paid off in April and we have a smallish card that will be paid off around the same time. Then a big credit card that will take time. If I haven't already said it then I will now. We have made some bad money decisions but slowly we are fixing the problems we made. Because we are new to our house and haven't gotten bills for the utilities or the HOA I am not sure sure how to budget to pay more towards our debt. So I will just pay the minimum until we have a good feel of what we can do. I guess it is better to do what you are able then to push yourself to the edge. I have started a rough estimate I tried to be high on my numbers and hopefully they turn out to be a close fit because it would be easier all around. I'll have it sorted out just in time to worry about the Holidays. So really I will start paying more towards our debt in January. It will be a good start to 2011. Still I am really proud of what we have accomplished this year. I will still be saving but on a much smaller level for awhile but I'll let you know how it goes.
3. Vegetable garden that we can use for meals.- We have 1/4 of an acre to plant on! Rob has already planted some greens in the back near the house. It will be while before we get it up and going but we have a lot of yard to play with. This is really just starting and I am excited to see it grow.
5. Damian reading chapter books, Damian loves reading Chapter books now.We'll be starting a reading time everyday with school work. It will be good for us to get back to basics after 2 months of T.V.
My goals- Redo... Restart...Start over. It seems I have gained 20 pounds this PCS and travel season... Let me tell you I feel every pound of it too. I feel sluggish and heavy. My feet hurt when I walk. I can't believe that 20 pound can be so hard on a body! So I will be restarting my fitness goals very soon. When I am done unpacking this house! Anyone want to help, do it with me, support my new weight loss goal of 30 pounds please be free. Lord knows I need a good kick in the pants.
1. Get Fit
2. To be able to run 6 miles in 1hour.
3.Be a better mother-
4.Be a better house keeper-
I do want to say something to those of you who are at the beginning of your debt free journey.. It may seem impossible at the first baby steps but the more you baby step forward your steps slowly get bigger. It is hard but not impossible. If we can do this so can you. It feels good when you can see the light at the end of the road. That road while not paved with gold will be paved in lighter steps. (This is a great quote from the end of my last blog and because it still applies in more way then one I have decided to keep it.)
Be Well my blogger friends and Peace Be with you...Always
Thursday, June 10, 2010
June Goal updates
I know I didn't post a goal update for May but it mostly stayed the same. I might change some of them to more reasonable goals because we are moving and traveling for a month. Then we are going to try to buy a house and hopefully that goes smoothly. It seems like our goals that I started in January became hard to focus on when we got orders. I, well we have been going through our stuff and weeding it out starting with the boys' room. I wish I had the heart to go through our books I am sure I could donate at least a dozen books if not more but that is mentally hard for both Rob and I to think of it. So far we have donated a lot of stuff and trashed some junk. Honestly we will be doing it as we unpack to. So hopefully we will start the next chapter of our life less cluttered. So I guess on to the updates...
Family goals
1. No credit use-We have still been on the right path here. We did go into the credit line which is disheartening but it is not a big deal as it will be paid off on Pay day with a interest payment of 5 or so dollars it is still not good but not as bad as it could have been.
2. To pay off 5 of 6 bills- Starting debt- $17928.61 June debt-$10600.57
So I just paid off one more credit card! Man does it feel good to cross it off the wall. I have note cards on my wall that I keep track of what we owe. Trust me when you have to look at your debt every time you walk out of your bedroom door you have incentive to take one down. It feels good. I did use some of our newly saved money for this last payment because the pay off amount was $490 we have about $2800 in savings. Rob got a ticket and for the first time I was grateful for that account. It sucks but we both knew that we had the money and we didn't have to worry about where the money was going to come from. So if you don't have at least $1000 in the bank for emergencies you should get started. It really feels good know for once we have control over our money and we are not being controlled by it...
3. Vegetable garden that we can use for meals.- We are leaving in 3 weeks! Needless to say our garden is almost completely dismantled. I hope we get in to our house soon but I am not sure if or when we can get started again this year.
4. Potty training James. Is on hold until we move to make moving easier for him.
5. Damian reading chapter books, Damian loves reading Chapter books now. He gets so excited when he finishes a whole book.
My goals- Are not going well at all. Maybe I tried to focus on too many things to get done this year. I do like the goals I choose for myself this year. Too bad I am not doing well on any of them. I am always trying to be a better mother and with our impending move we are spending more time inside trying to get ready then outside in the sunshine. So I feel like I am not doing as well as I could do. Becoming a better housekeeper feels like a joke. With all the cleaning and sorting it feels like a losing battle. That and our stuff is leaving us and I will be cleaning for a week and then not cleaning for a month, two months or when ever. My fitness goal are suffering as they dropped to below the list of things that need to be done over all. I will get back to them in a couple of months. Rob got us P90X and I am looking forward to starting that. So I am just trying to eat small portions and stay away from sugar as much as I can so I don't gain more weight! This may prove to be hard as we are staying with my grandma for two weeks in July...
1. Get Fit
2. To be able to run 6 miles in 1hour.
3.Be a better mother-
4.Be a better house keeper-
Really my goals may not updated over the summer. Hopefully I will update my blog with some cool pictures and travel stories and then house hunting adventures. I do want to say something to those of you who are at the beginning of your debt free journey.. It may seem impossible at the first baby steps but the more you baby step forward your steps slowly get bigger. It is hard but not impossible. If we can do this so can you. It feels good when you can see the light at the end of the road. That road while not paved with gold will be paved in lighter steps.
Peace Be With You!
ps.. I just checked my spelling and found only four basic typo's. That is an accomplishment on its own, I used to have horrible spelling.
Family goals
1. No credit use-We have still been on the right path here. We did go into the credit line which is disheartening but it is not a big deal as it will be paid off on Pay day with a interest payment of 5 or so dollars it is still not good but not as bad as it could have been.
2. To pay off 5 of 6 bills- Starting debt- $17928.61 June debt-$10600.57
So I just paid off one more credit card! Man does it feel good to cross it off the wall. I have note cards on my wall that I keep track of what we owe. Trust me when you have to look at your debt every time you walk out of your bedroom door you have incentive to take one down. It feels good. I did use some of our newly saved money for this last payment because the pay off amount was $490 we have about $2800 in savings. Rob got a ticket and for the first time I was grateful for that account. It sucks but we both knew that we had the money and we didn't have to worry about where the money was going to come from. So if you don't have at least $1000 in the bank for emergencies you should get started. It really feels good know for once we have control over our money and we are not being controlled by it...
3. Vegetable garden that we can use for meals.- We are leaving in 3 weeks! Needless to say our garden is almost completely dismantled. I hope we get in to our house soon but I am not sure if or when we can get started again this year.
4. Potty training James. Is on hold until we move to make moving easier for him.
5. Damian reading chapter books, Damian loves reading Chapter books now. He gets so excited when he finishes a whole book.
My goals- Are not going well at all. Maybe I tried to focus on too many things to get done this year. I do like the goals I choose for myself this year. Too bad I am not doing well on any of them. I am always trying to be a better mother and with our impending move we are spending more time inside trying to get ready then outside in the sunshine. So I feel like I am not doing as well as I could do. Becoming a better housekeeper feels like a joke. With all the cleaning and sorting it feels like a losing battle. That and our stuff is leaving us and I will be cleaning for a week and then not cleaning for a month, two months or when ever. My fitness goal are suffering as they dropped to below the list of things that need to be done over all. I will get back to them in a couple of months. Rob got us P90X and I am looking forward to starting that. So I am just trying to eat small portions and stay away from sugar as much as I can so I don't gain more weight! This may prove to be hard as we are staying with my grandma for two weeks in July...
1. Get Fit
2. To be able to run 6 miles in 1hour.
3.Be a better mother-
4.Be a better house keeper-
Really my goals may not updated over the summer. Hopefully I will update my blog with some cool pictures and travel stories and then house hunting adventures. I do want to say something to those of you who are at the beginning of your debt free journey.. It may seem impossible at the first baby steps but the more you baby step forward your steps slowly get bigger. It is hard but not impossible. If we can do this so can you. It feels good when you can see the light at the end of the road. That road while not paved with gold will be paved in lighter steps.
Peace Be With You!
ps.. I just checked my spelling and found only four basic typo's. That is an accomplishment on its own, I used to have horrible spelling.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Camping
So our family had our very first over night Camping trip, One day only. So today I thought I would upload random pictures that I took. Beware they are pretty random.
We camped at Three Rivers State Park. It is beautiful!
I got to choose our campsite. The only thing that was wrong with it is when the Gator's start growling! yikes
This is how you make coffee after a long night of no sleep.
Coffee is ready when you are.
I wish this could be the view with my coffee every morning.
The boys know how to get dirty
Pretty in green
Butterfly on our nature walk
The boys' hillbilly feet after sliding into the mud.
I hope you have enjoyed the random pictures of our camping adventure. I might try and add more pictures to my blog now that I know how easy it is to do.
Peace Be With You
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
A Psalm of David.
Sometimes I wonder where I am, what is the right path and have I taken it. Then I look at my boys and wonder what path I am leading them on and worry about when we part if I have done all I could for them. So i look out at my path and pray to God. I pray for strength and guidance.Almost two years ago our life came to a brief stop and when the world started to spin I realized I needed to give my children God. With out knowing it my journey began. Although I am not there yet and I am sure it is going to take time to get there, I know I am more open to see the Lord. After Reading a book called Traveling Light by Max Lucado I found out The Lord is With ME. I didn't find out reading the book, it just lead me there. I was on a bike with my two kids in a trailer behind me. Sweat dripping off of me , the sun hot, and I am peddling home on the nine mile mark a cool breeze cooled my skin, the birds song lightened my heart, and there I found God all at once. For the first time I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was with me. My life changed.
Don't get me wrong I have always believed there was a higher power but this was the fist time I knew. So I would like to post Psalms 23. Take a minute to read it and really feel the message.
I hope that you will come with me on my journey. You are welcome to add your thoughts anytime. My blog will still be random but it is me after all.
Peace be with you
Don't get me wrong I have always believed there was a higher power but this was the fist time I knew. So I would like to post Psalms 23. Take a minute to read it and really feel the message.
The Lord Is My Shepherd
A Psalm of David.
23:1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
3 He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
3 He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
I hope that you will come with me on my journey. You are welcome to add your thoughts anytime. My blog will still be random but it is me after all.
Peace be with you
Monday, April 5, 2010
April Goal update
Family goals
1. No credit use-We are doing pretty well but to be honest we slipped a little this month, but does it count if we paid it off right away? Yes I know it counts and yes I take full credit for the slip. It was my birthday and my husband loves me more then words can say so I got a new phone for the GPS feature. We looked at GPS and he decided the phone was a better deal but it still cost $180. Ouch, It is paid for.
2. To pay off 5 of 6 bills- Starting debt- 17928.61 April debt-11894.34
We still have four bills left to pay off and because we are saving for our big move in July they seem to be looming and Staying the same but we have to save. So far since we found out about our move though we have saved almost $3000. I feel like we are at a standstill. Like we are stuck dragging this debt behind us. We didn't save as much this month because we needed to pay for the new phone which ended up costing an extra $5 by using credit for two or three days. Lame. Next month will be a better month even though it is Rob's Birthday he only wants to go camping so hopefully nothing comes up and we are back on track.
3. Vegetable garden that we can use for meals.- We are moving in 3 of months so we are no longer adding to our garden here. We will be starting a more permanent one in Texas. Rob has started taking the raised beds apart. It is a little sad to see all of his hard work just taken down so easily. The peas are almost 2 feet tall and even though we aren't eating peas yet the boys go out there and pick them as soon as they see a pod. So at least they are eating their veggies.
4. Potty training James. Is on hold until we move to make moving easier for him.
5. Damian reading chapter books, Damian loves reading Chapter books now. He gets so excited when he finishes a whole book.
My goals- Are not going well at all. Maybe I tried to focus on too many things to get done this year.
1. Get Fit with good friends- I am not going to lie, I have fallen off of the wagon a lot.
2. To be able to run 6 miles in 1hour. Well I got back to the treadmill but I have decided to stick to 15 minutes which is just over a mile. I feel good when I get off and I haven't left my children to do to much damage.
3.Be a better mother- I got a bread maker and so I am making fresh bread for sandwiches every day. It is good, the kids love it and I know everything that is in their bread now. I can't wait to be in a position to be more organic by shopping at markets that sell locally.
4.Be a better house keeper- More to follow...
1. No credit use-We are doing pretty well but to be honest we slipped a little this month, but does it count if we paid it off right away? Yes I know it counts and yes I take full credit for the slip. It was my birthday and my husband loves me more then words can say so I got a new phone for the GPS feature. We looked at GPS and he decided the phone was a better deal but it still cost $180. Ouch, It is paid for.
2. To pay off 5 of 6 bills- Starting debt- 17928.61 April debt-11894.34
We still have four bills left to pay off and because we are saving for our big move in July they seem to be looming and Staying the same but we have to save. So far since we found out about our move though we have saved almost $3000. I feel like we are at a standstill. Like we are stuck dragging this debt behind us. We didn't save as much this month because we needed to pay for the new phone which ended up costing an extra $5 by using credit for two or three days. Lame. Next month will be a better month even though it is Rob's Birthday he only wants to go camping so hopefully nothing comes up and we are back on track.
3. Vegetable garden that we can use for meals.- We are moving in 3 of months so we are no longer adding to our garden here. We will be starting a more permanent one in Texas. Rob has started taking the raised beds apart. It is a little sad to see all of his hard work just taken down so easily. The peas are almost 2 feet tall and even though we aren't eating peas yet the boys go out there and pick them as soon as they see a pod. So at least they are eating their veggies.
4. Potty training James. Is on hold until we move to make moving easier for him.
5. Damian reading chapter books, Damian loves reading Chapter books now. He gets so excited when he finishes a whole book.
My goals- Are not going well at all. Maybe I tried to focus on too many things to get done this year.
1. Get Fit with good friends- I am not going to lie, I have fallen off of the wagon a lot.
2. To be able to run 6 miles in 1hour. Well I got back to the treadmill but I have decided to stick to 15 minutes which is just over a mile. I feel good when I get off and I haven't left my children to do to much damage.
3.Be a better mother- I got a bread maker and so I am making fresh bread for sandwiches every day. It is good, the kids love it and I know everything that is in their bread now. I can't wait to be in a position to be more organic by shopping at markets that sell locally.
4.Be a better house keeper- More to follow...
Friday, March 26, 2010
Pieces of my puzzle
I know that my blogs are sometimes bits of my life, random pieces of me. I am a puzzle forever being put together. Sometimes finding the missing parts to see them fit into me is amazing. I have two sons and when each of them was born I learned great lessons on love and life. They are pieces of my story but one to them I will become a piece of theirs. I wonder what they will think about me when they are grown. How will they explain me to girlfriends and buddies in the future. We all have stories of our mother and father. So I try do the things I want them to think of. I want them to look back at their childhoods and remember love lots of hugs and kisses and fresh baked bread, and apple pies. I read somewhere that we break our children no matter how hard we try to to keep them whole. Some only small cracks and some into fragments. I hope that my faults are forgivable when they are grown. Yes I know they are only 5 and 2 but does it hurt to think of the future now so that the future is a nicer place?
I don’t know the answers and I sometimes wonder about the questions. All we can do is the best we know how. Sometimes we can change what we know and do better. There is hope for all of us and it started with a baby boy I fear I could love completely but I was wrong. Love is a gift and the more you give the more you have. I am blessed to know this and I hope, really hope that I can teach my children that secret. This wish like all things takes time, only will reveal what lays ahead. The best we can do is put it in God’s Hands and push forward and Live.
Be well and Love Freely
I don’t know the answers and I sometimes wonder about the questions. All we can do is the best we know how. Sometimes we can change what we know and do better. There is hope for all of us and it started with a baby boy I fear I could love completely but I was wrong. Love is a gift and the more you give the more you have. I am blessed to know this and I hope, really hope that I can teach my children that secret. This wish like all things takes time, only will reveal what lays ahead. The best we can do is put it in God’s Hands and push forward and Live.
Be well and Love Freely
Saturday, March 20, 2010
New Phone
You may fine the title of this post confusing because this is not about the new phone but about the application I got it for, or rather my husband got for me. The VZ Navigator, GPS my friends where ever you go. Those of you that know me know that I can get lost, really lost in one bad turn and instead of turning around I get even more lost for hours. I have been worried about moving to a major city, afraid that I was going to get really lost. So after much talking and price checking between a mobile with gps or a gps for the car for us the new phone was a better deal.
After pizza and a beer I started thinking about the loss of Adventure. I have a real gift for getting lost. I once drove around the British country side for six hours trying to find something that looked familiar, detours are an adventure waiting to happen, I don’t mind driving and so far I have not been stuck out of gas but sometimes being lost is fun. I wonder if I will become totally dependent on my phone that I might one day forget the thrill of being in a new place and the puzzle of getting back. Take a left turn at the light…
Maybe at the very least I will have a back up way to get unlost and not miss an appointment at the same time.
Here’s to a smooth road and great weather when you are on a lost adventure.
After pizza and a beer I started thinking about the loss of Adventure. I have a real gift for getting lost. I once drove around the British country side for six hours trying to find something that looked familiar, detours are an adventure waiting to happen, I don’t mind driving and so far I have not been stuck out of gas but sometimes being lost is fun. I wonder if I will become totally dependent on my phone that I might one day forget the thrill of being in a new place and the puzzle of getting back. Take a left turn at the light…
Maybe at the very least I will have a back up way to get unlost and not miss an appointment at the same time.
Here’s to a smooth road and great weather when you are on a lost adventure.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Random survey
Random survey. Could be fun or not but I am going to do it anyway.
HAVE YOU EVER CHEWED A PACK OF GUM ALL AT ONCE?
Yes. The five pack of winter fresh.
DO YOU KNOW ANY JERKS?
Everyone knows a jerk and everyone can be a jerk. Also in my top Five movies The Jerk
IF YOU HAD ONE MAGIC POWER WHAT WOULD IT BE?
House cleaning in the snap of my fingers.
IF YOU HAD ONE STAR TREK DEVICE?
Beam me up Scottie also the only one I know.
DO YOU WATCH CSI?
Not any of them.
HAVE YOU EVER CHASED A CHICKEN?
I have chased a child chasing a chicken does that count?
YOUR HOME LIFE
DO YOU HAVE CARPET IN YOUR ROOM?
Yes.
DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIVING ARRANGEMENTS?
Yes.
DO YOU HAVE A WALK IN CLOSET?
Yes but I can't walk into it at the moment.
PERSONAL QUESTIONS
WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE ABOUT YOUR LOOKS?
My jelly roll could go and I wouldn't miss it.
HAVE YOU EVER HAD A WEIRD DREAM ABOUT A GUY OR GIRL?
Yes and how.
WOULD YOU EVER BE A STRIPPER?
A burlesque dancer
WOULD YOU CONSIDER BEING A DANCER IN A MUSIC VIDEO?
Depends on the video and music style and how much I would be paid to make an ass out of myself.
ANYONE EVER TELL YOU THAT YOU HAD A BIG HEAD?
Yes, my husband.
DID ANYONE EVER TELL YOU THAT YOU’RE PRETTY?
Sometimes I even think they mean it.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SCARS?
Yes:
DO YOU HAVE ANY BIRTH MARKS?
Yes, A big freckle on my face and a matching one on my chest.
THE FACTS
EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE?
Just call me butter fingers! and I have kids nothing is safe.
EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT RING?
Only one and lucky for me it was the right one.
THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON?
My kids, and books even when we are not actively buying them.
WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
Over the rainbow or Florida for a couple more months. Then the road for a month and with any luck in our own house in Texas.
LAST LIE YOU HEARD?
I am doing my work and not watching tv.
CAN YOU COOK?
Pretty well too.
LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
When my Grandma told how bad my grandpa was doing and realizing that I live 3000 miles away from them. I am missing my little sisters wedding tomorrow.
LAST CONCERT ATTENDED?
Never been to one. We are really to cheap to go and Rob hates loud music. I love musicals and live plays.
ONE THING YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT?
Myself and my id.
DO YOU SMOKE?
No.
LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
I am not really a phone person so I would say my grandma.
WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECIEVED?
Dinner at applebees 6-6:30. It's kid friendly so let me know how many people.
LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED AT SOMETHING STUPID?
Last night Butt Drugs and Cullman Liquidation commercials. I am laughing thinking about them.
LAST TIME YOU TALKED TO A COP?
If IM counts just now.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND?
I hope the weather is nice because we are doing beach pictures.
ARE YOU UPSTAIRS?
No.
ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP?
Yes.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL?
Yes.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS SURVEY?
Post it. Maybe a nap to follow.
WHO DID YOU LAST HUG?
My Sons.
WOULD YOU EVER DYE YOUR HAIR RED?
I did that as a kid and liked it ok but I wouldn't do it now. I love my hair.
WHO DID YOU LAST TALK TO OVER THE COMPUTER?
Stormy..
DO YOU LIKE HUGS?
Big Bear hugs, group hugs, crazy family hugs, all hugs are great.
WHAT DO YOU DO RIGHT BEFORE YOU GO TO BED?
Read, or watch some random T.V. show on instant play on Netflix
RIGHT WHEN YOU GET OUT OF BED?
coffee...
TO WHOM DID YOU LAST GIVE THE FINGER?
I don't give the finger.
IF YOU HAD 1,000 DOLLARS WHAT WOULD YOU BUY?
We are saving, so this would fall under the saving for our move.
WHAT WAS THE LAST BEVERAGE YOU SPILLED ON YOURSELF?
Water
ARE YOU DIFFERENT NOW THAN YOU WERE 6 MONTHS AGO?
Yes, I am a work in progress as my children grow and change so do I. I hope to be a better person six months from today.
BETTER FOR GIRLS TO KISS OR BOYS TO KISS?
My husband to kiss me.
WHEN DID YOU LAST KISS SOMEONE ON THE CHEEK?
Rob on his way to work after lunch. He was still eating.
WHERE WERE YOU LAST NIGHT AROUND 9:30?
The Henslee's watching the Marriage Ref
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF GUYS THAT WEAR EYELINER?
I don't.
HOW MANY HOURS DID YOU SLEEP LAST NIGHT?
8 I guess
50 CENT SHOWS UP AT YOUR DOOR, WHAT DO YOU DO?
How the hell would I know if it was 50 cent or whoever? I don't know that guy. I'd tell him he's lost.
HOW WAS THE LAST EGG YOU ATE PREPARED?
Scrambled with onions, tomatoes, peppers, and cheese.
WHERE DID YOU LAST WEAR SUNGLASSES?
Tuesday was a sunglasses day.
HAVE YOU EVER WORE YOUR UNDERWEAR BACKWARDS?
No.
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON TO SMOKE A CIGARETTE IN YOUR PRESENCE?:
Darlene, is the only smoker I am around and she doesn't really smoke around me much.
WHAT ANIMAL DID YOU LAST PET OR HOLD?
My lab Chaz.
WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?
Yeah, I am still in my P J's and will be until after I get a nap. I was cleaning today.
WHAT WAS THE LAST NEWSPAPER YOU READ OR SKIMMED?
Online The New York Times, hard copy The News Herald
WHAT WAS THE LAST WORD WRITTEN ON YOUR HAND?
A book I wanted to check out to read.
WHAT WAS THE LAST HAIR PRODUCT YOU USED?
Conditioner.
WHAT WAS THE LAST MEDICATION YOU TOOK?
I don't take medication. I drives Rob crazy when I am sick or hurting.
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU REALLY LAUGH?
Butt Drugs commercial and Cullman Liquidators look them up.
http://ilovelocalcommercials.com/videos.aspx?vid=287&cl=1
TO WHAT SONG DID YOU LAST SING ALONG?
Butt Drugs. It is really funny.
WHAT WAS THE LAST MUSICAL INSTRUMENT IN YOUR PRESENCE?
Kazoo
WHAT WAS THE LAST SUPERSTITIOUS THING YOU DID?
Threw salt over my shoulder
WHAT TIME DID YOU GET UP THIS MORNING?
7:30
ARE YOU GLAD THIS IS OVER?
Yes.
HAVE YOU EVER CHEWED A PACK OF GUM ALL AT ONCE?
Yes. The five pack of winter fresh.
DO YOU KNOW ANY JERKS?
Everyone knows a jerk and everyone can be a jerk. Also in my top Five movies The Jerk
IF YOU HAD ONE MAGIC POWER WHAT WOULD IT BE?
House cleaning in the snap of my fingers.
IF YOU HAD ONE STAR TREK DEVICE?
Beam me up Scottie also the only one I know.
DO YOU WATCH CSI?
Not any of them.
HAVE YOU EVER CHASED A CHICKEN?
I have chased a child chasing a chicken does that count?
YOUR HOME LIFE
DO YOU HAVE CARPET IN YOUR ROOM?
Yes.
DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIVING ARRANGEMENTS?
Yes.
DO YOU HAVE A WALK IN CLOSET?
Yes but I can't walk into it at the moment.
PERSONAL QUESTIONS
WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE ABOUT YOUR LOOKS?
My jelly roll could go and I wouldn't miss it.
HAVE YOU EVER HAD A WEIRD DREAM ABOUT A GUY OR GIRL?
Yes and how.
WOULD YOU EVER BE A STRIPPER?
A burlesque dancer
WOULD YOU CONSIDER BEING A DANCER IN A MUSIC VIDEO?
Depends on the video and music style and how much I would be paid to make an ass out of myself.
ANYONE EVER TELL YOU THAT YOU HAD A BIG HEAD?
Yes, my husband.
DID ANYONE EVER TELL YOU THAT YOU’RE PRETTY?
Sometimes I even think they mean it.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SCARS?
Yes:
DO YOU HAVE ANY BIRTH MARKS?
Yes, A big freckle on my face and a matching one on my chest.
THE FACTS
EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE?
Just call me butter fingers! and I have kids nothing is safe.
EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT RING?
Only one and lucky for me it was the right one.
THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON?
My kids, and books even when we are not actively buying them.
WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
Over the rainbow or Florida for a couple more months. Then the road for a month and with any luck in our own house in Texas.
LAST LIE YOU HEARD?
I am doing my work and not watching tv.
CAN YOU COOK?
Pretty well too.
LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
When my Grandma told how bad my grandpa was doing and realizing that I live 3000 miles away from them. I am missing my little sisters wedding tomorrow.
LAST CONCERT ATTENDED?
Never been to one. We are really to cheap to go and Rob hates loud music. I love musicals and live plays.
ONE THING YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT?
Myself and my id.
DO YOU SMOKE?
No.
LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
I am not really a phone person so I would say my grandma.
WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECIEVED?
Dinner at applebees 6-6:30. It's kid friendly so let me know how many people.
LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED AT SOMETHING STUPID?
Last night Butt Drugs and Cullman Liquidation commercials. I am laughing thinking about them.
LAST TIME YOU TALKED TO A COP?
If IM counts just now.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND?
I hope the weather is nice because we are doing beach pictures.
ARE YOU UPSTAIRS?
No.
ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP?
Yes.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL?
Yes.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS SURVEY?
Post it. Maybe a nap to follow.
WHO DID YOU LAST HUG?
My Sons.
WOULD YOU EVER DYE YOUR HAIR RED?
I did that as a kid and liked it ok but I wouldn't do it now. I love my hair.
WHO DID YOU LAST TALK TO OVER THE COMPUTER?
Stormy..
DO YOU LIKE HUGS?
Big Bear hugs, group hugs, crazy family hugs, all hugs are great.
WHAT DO YOU DO RIGHT BEFORE YOU GO TO BED?
Read, or watch some random T.V. show on instant play on Netflix
RIGHT WHEN YOU GET OUT OF BED?
coffee...
TO WHOM DID YOU LAST GIVE THE FINGER?
I don't give the finger.
IF YOU HAD 1,000 DOLLARS WHAT WOULD YOU BUY?
We are saving, so this would fall under the saving for our move.
WHAT WAS THE LAST BEVERAGE YOU SPILLED ON YOURSELF?
Water
ARE YOU DIFFERENT NOW THAN YOU WERE 6 MONTHS AGO?
Yes, I am a work in progress as my children grow and change so do I. I hope to be a better person six months from today.
BETTER FOR GIRLS TO KISS OR BOYS TO KISS?
My husband to kiss me.
WHEN DID YOU LAST KISS SOMEONE ON THE CHEEK?
Rob on his way to work after lunch. He was still eating.
WHERE WERE YOU LAST NIGHT AROUND 9:30?
The Henslee's watching the Marriage Ref
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF GUYS THAT WEAR EYELINER?
I don't.
HOW MANY HOURS DID YOU SLEEP LAST NIGHT?
8 I guess
50 CENT SHOWS UP AT YOUR DOOR, WHAT DO YOU DO?
How the hell would I know if it was 50 cent or whoever? I don't know that guy. I'd tell him he's lost.
HOW WAS THE LAST EGG YOU ATE PREPARED?
Scrambled with onions, tomatoes, peppers, and cheese.
WHERE DID YOU LAST WEAR SUNGLASSES?
Tuesday was a sunglasses day.
HAVE YOU EVER WORE YOUR UNDERWEAR BACKWARDS?
No.
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON TO SMOKE A CIGARETTE IN YOUR PRESENCE?:
Darlene, is the only smoker I am around and she doesn't really smoke around me much.
WHAT ANIMAL DID YOU LAST PET OR HOLD?
My lab Chaz.
WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?
Yeah, I am still in my P J's and will be until after I get a nap. I was cleaning today.
WHAT WAS THE LAST NEWSPAPER YOU READ OR SKIMMED?
Online The New York Times, hard copy The News Herald
WHAT WAS THE LAST WORD WRITTEN ON YOUR HAND?
A book I wanted to check out to read.
WHAT WAS THE LAST HAIR PRODUCT YOU USED?
Conditioner.
WHAT WAS THE LAST MEDICATION YOU TOOK?
I don't take medication. I drives Rob crazy when I am sick or hurting.
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU REALLY LAUGH?
Butt Drugs commercial and Cullman Liquidators look them up.
http://ilovelocalcommercials.com/videos.aspx?vid=287&cl=1
TO WHAT SONG DID YOU LAST SING ALONG?
Butt Drugs. It is really funny.
WHAT WAS THE LAST MUSICAL INSTRUMENT IN YOUR PRESENCE?
Kazoo
WHAT WAS THE LAST SUPERSTITIOUS THING YOU DID?
Threw salt over my shoulder
WHAT TIME DID YOU GET UP THIS MORNING?
7:30
ARE YOU GLAD THIS IS OVER?
Yes.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Who am I?
It is a funny question on the outside it is easy I am a wife, a mother, a cook, a baker, a painter, a writer, etc. But what about on the inside, the deepest part of the soul. The secret parts. Well I am unlikely to share all my secrets today but maybe ten will be a good start.
1. I love socks, bright colorful socks. They make me happy when I have them on. They are easy to match no matter how many loose pairs there are in a pile. My favorite gift anytime, also my number one request for all present giving days. Socks all is right with a beautiful clean pair of socks. Gloomy day no worries I have sunshine and rainbows.
2. My biggest life lesson is when I held my Eldest son for the first time. I looked in to his cloudy grey eyes and knew for the first time in my life that love was free and didn't hurt. The second was when my youngest son was born (I have two) and I looked in to his bright eyes and knew love grows the more you give it away.
3. My biggest goal in life is to be happy. For the most part I am. When I am asked how I am I always say good. I am good. I am happy. Because even when I am down saying that I am doing well makes me feel better. My children are happy. I am still in love with my husband so what else is there. I am happy.
4.I don't wear make up as a statement of self. I hide behind a mask of make up as a teenager to hide all the hurtful things I heard and knew. When I got my first place I woke up one morning and looked at my self and decided I wasn't going to hide anymore and so I don't wear the mask. Well except for in pictures a girl wants to look good in a photograph that hangs on the wall for all to see.
5. I have a hard time talking to new people. Not because I am shy but a deeper crazier fear enforced in childhood. That once someone finds out who I really am they will leave. Almost every word my mother told me when I was growing up. No one could want me. Don't fret I am out growing it slowly and with difficultly. Old habits die hard. This way I know I am lucky to be loved by all the choose to stick around.
6. I love words. I think they are amazing in all their glory. I love qoutes, and poetry. I lke to sit and read poems over and over until I sink in to the meaning and they are tattooed onto my soul. I love to write poetry when I am was dishes or with washable crayon in the shower. I feel whole when I am writing.
7. I love that my husband likes to research plan out everything he does. I like to lay in bed next to him and listen to him explain permaculture to me. I like to let him take control. It makes me feel safe.
8. I try to see things from different angles. Sometimes I will think about something for hours or days until I have seen it from all angles and can make a informed remark. All stories have two sides, there is never just one. Sometimes I say the wrong thing when I hear something for the first time and wish I could call back and take it back when I have thought of the right thing. This transfers in to what is going on in the world. Take health care I will read five to ten different articles on the same thing just so that I feel like I have all the information that I can to make up my decision on the matter.
9. I want to live a sustainable life for my family. I want a grey water system in my future forever home. I think it is the greatest thing man has invented and want to know why it's not standard in today's buildings. Also solar power is amazing we could all get a couple of panels on our roofs and collect some free sun power. Combine solar power with existing energy we could live sustainably. Also victory gardens from the 1940's should come back minus all the chemicals. Really who said everyone had to grow grass and waste water. Why can't we all grow a vegetable garden in our back yards and be able to save on our grocery bills, and live a healthier life style. Just because you can go to the store to buy junk food doesn't mean you have to give up a cheap healthy snack that keeps giving to your family. Really spend a ten dollars on your favorite vegetable seeds and plant them and watch them grow. Then when it is time to pick a cucumber and all you have to do is rinse it off and eat it still warm from the sun you will know what fresh taste like.
10. I love to read and when Damian was born I decided to read chapter books to him. I thought that we could teach them to love books and avoid having to read the same book over and over. It worked both boys love to be read to. I love to listen to them use their imaginations playing Harry Potter, or Peter Pan. Learning about crazy monsters and watching their eyes light up at the possibility.
I love my life and now you know a little more about me some things that are good and aome that is not so good.
I am who I am and I am a work in progress.
1. I love socks, bright colorful socks. They make me happy when I have them on. They are easy to match no matter how many loose pairs there are in a pile. My favorite gift anytime, also my number one request for all present giving days. Socks all is right with a beautiful clean pair of socks. Gloomy day no worries I have sunshine and rainbows.
2. My biggest life lesson is when I held my Eldest son for the first time. I looked in to his cloudy grey eyes and knew for the first time in my life that love was free and didn't hurt. The second was when my youngest son was born (I have two) and I looked in to his bright eyes and knew love grows the more you give it away.
3. My biggest goal in life is to be happy. For the most part I am. When I am asked how I am I always say good. I am good. I am happy. Because even when I am down saying that I am doing well makes me feel better. My children are happy. I am still in love with my husband so what else is there. I am happy.
4.I don't wear make up as a statement of self. I hide behind a mask of make up as a teenager to hide all the hurtful things I heard and knew. When I got my first place I woke up one morning and looked at my self and decided I wasn't going to hide anymore and so I don't wear the mask. Well except for in pictures a girl wants to look good in a photograph that hangs on the wall for all to see.
5. I have a hard time talking to new people. Not because I am shy but a deeper crazier fear enforced in childhood. That once someone finds out who I really am they will leave. Almost every word my mother told me when I was growing up. No one could want me. Don't fret I am out growing it slowly and with difficultly. Old habits die hard. This way I know I am lucky to be loved by all the choose to stick around.
6. I love words. I think they are amazing in all their glory. I love qoutes, and poetry. I lke to sit and read poems over and over until I sink in to the meaning and they are tattooed onto my soul. I love to write poetry when I am was dishes or with washable crayon in the shower. I feel whole when I am writing.
7. I love that my husband likes to research plan out everything he does. I like to lay in bed next to him and listen to him explain permaculture to me. I like to let him take control. It makes me feel safe.
8. I try to see things from different angles. Sometimes I will think about something for hours or days until I have seen it from all angles and can make a informed remark. All stories have two sides, there is never just one. Sometimes I say the wrong thing when I hear something for the first time and wish I could call back and take it back when I have thought of the right thing. This transfers in to what is going on in the world. Take health care I will read five to ten different articles on the same thing just so that I feel like I have all the information that I can to make up my decision on the matter.
9. I want to live a sustainable life for my family. I want a grey water system in my future forever home. I think it is the greatest thing man has invented and want to know why it's not standard in today's buildings. Also solar power is amazing we could all get a couple of panels on our roofs and collect some free sun power. Combine solar power with existing energy we could live sustainably. Also victory gardens from the 1940's should come back minus all the chemicals. Really who said everyone had to grow grass and waste water. Why can't we all grow a vegetable garden in our back yards and be able to save on our grocery bills, and live a healthier life style. Just because you can go to the store to buy junk food doesn't mean you have to give up a cheap healthy snack that keeps giving to your family. Really spend a ten dollars on your favorite vegetable seeds and plant them and watch them grow. Then when it is time to pick a cucumber and all you have to do is rinse it off and eat it still warm from the sun you will know what fresh taste like.
10. I love to read and when Damian was born I decided to read chapter books to him. I thought that we could teach them to love books and avoid having to read the same book over and over. It worked both boys love to be read to. I love to listen to them use their imaginations playing Harry Potter, or Peter Pan. Learning about crazy monsters and watching their eyes light up at the possibility.
I love my life and now you know a little more about me some things that are good and aome that is not so good.
I am who I am and I am a work in progress.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
March Goal update
Family goals
1. No credit use- We have not used Credit at all This Year! I am so relieved when I see one less bill to pay each month because we are focused and driven. This is a rewarding feeling. We can do this.
2. To pay off 5 of 6 bills- Starting debt- 17928.61 March debt-12331.96
We still have four bills left to pay off and because we are saving for our big move in July they seem to be looming and Staying the same but we have to save. So far since we found out about our move though we have saved almost $3000. Which is about $700 dollars straight to savings every month. This is a weird exciting feeling. I know we could pay off two bills with our savings but we are able to save 700 extra dollars a month and we have not gone in to credit. Amazing if I say so myself.
3. Vegetable garden that we can use for meals.- We are moving in a matter of months so we are no longer adding to our garden here. We will be starting a more permanent one in Texas. Rob has started taking the raised beds apart. It is a little sad to see all of his hard work just taken down so easily. The peas are going strong. I hope we get to eat a lot before we have to take them out.
4. Potty training James. Is on hold until we move to make moving easier for him.
5. Damian reading chapter books, Damian loves reading Chapter books now. He gets so excited when he finishes a whole book.
My goals- Are not going well at all. Maybe I tried to focus on too many things to get done this year.
1. Get Fit with good friends- I am not going to lie, I have fallen off of the wagon a lot.
2. To be able to run 6 miles in 1hour. Well I got back to the treadmill but I have decided to stick to 15 minutes which is just over a mile. I feel good when I get off and I haven't left my children to do to much damage.
3.Be a better mother- I try, and I think that is what counts.
4.Be a better house keeper- More to follow...
1. No credit use- We have not used Credit at all This Year! I am so relieved when I see one less bill to pay each month because we are focused and driven. This is a rewarding feeling. We can do this.
2. To pay off 5 of 6 bills- Starting debt- 17928.61 March debt-12331.96
We still have four bills left to pay off and because we are saving for our big move in July they seem to be looming and Staying the same but we have to save. So far since we found out about our move though we have saved almost $3000. Which is about $700 dollars straight to savings every month. This is a weird exciting feeling. I know we could pay off two bills with our savings but we are able to save 700 extra dollars a month and we have not gone in to credit. Amazing if I say so myself.
3. Vegetable garden that we can use for meals.- We are moving in a matter of months so we are no longer adding to our garden here. We will be starting a more permanent one in Texas. Rob has started taking the raised beds apart. It is a little sad to see all of his hard work just taken down so easily. The peas are going strong. I hope we get to eat a lot before we have to take them out.
4. Potty training James. Is on hold until we move to make moving easier for him.
5. Damian reading chapter books, Damian loves reading Chapter books now. He gets so excited when he finishes a whole book.
My goals- Are not going well at all. Maybe I tried to focus on too many things to get done this year.
1. Get Fit with good friends- I am not going to lie, I have fallen off of the wagon a lot.
2. To be able to run 6 miles in 1hour. Well I got back to the treadmill but I have decided to stick to 15 minutes which is just over a mile. I feel good when I get off and I haven't left my children to do to much damage.
3.Be a better mother- I try, and I think that is what counts.
4.Be a better house keeper- More to follow...
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Dancing to the beat of our own drum.
Tonight I told my husband that friends of ours was pregnant with their second child. He walked out of the room and I asked for another drink. He looked at me and said “if you did it would not be through me!” I asked why and he walked closer to me all serious and manly. I said, “I don’t think I am drunk yet.” He stopped pursed his lips like he does and said “Oh, you’re talking about your drink.” He was talking about a baby and all I could say was, “I believe in Miracles and we could keep trying.” He didn’t think that was funny at all. But it put me in the mood to hear I Believe in Miracles by Hot Chocolate and when the music started I wanted to dance. So with our children out of the bath and running around in underwear we stopped the world for one salsa dance in our bedroom at the foot of the bed. And in that four minutes and fourteen second dance I felt alive and in a fairytale. Isn’t it amazing how the small things can make the whole picture clear. I got my fairytale and maybe it’s not perfect but it is my fairytale in progress. My husband loves me, my children are happy and healthy and sometimes, (sigh) sometimes for one dance I get to stop the world and I know this is where I want to be dancing. “It’s where it’s at you sexy thing.” My love grows like a tree never ending each spring it gets bigger and brighter and taller. I hope that it never gets cut down.
Today I am happy. Be happy too even for just a moment.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Texas
In comes sudden news that we are moving to the Great state of Texas, and out goes some of our plans for the year. A new move is a new start and a new start is a scary prospect. I worry about how my five year old will handle the move away from his friends. I am excited that we get to live in San Antonio, OK well at best a suburb of San Antonio but if we are really lucky we will have a little bit of land to homestead a short drive to the city. They have the Third largest Zoo in the country and it is not a lot to purchase a season pass for the family. Plus they have what sounds like a wonderful Farmers market where everything including grass fed beef is from a 150 mile radius.
I am going to miss the beautiful beaches in Panama City Fl and am planning on coming back to vacation in the future. Right now our future is full of hope and a second bathroom.
More ramblings to come..
I am going to miss the beautiful beaches in Panama City Fl and am planning on coming back to vacation in the future. Right now our future is full of hope and a second bathroom.
More ramblings to come..
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Feb Goal update
Family goals
1. No credit use- We are still on the right path and haven't used credit at all! This is a great rewarding feeling. We can do this.
2. To pay off 5 of 6 bills- Thank God for Taxes and pure motivation so from a total start debt of $17928.60 down to $12671. We found out that we are moving to Texas so we are saving all of our extra payments in hopes of buying our Next Home.
3. Vegetable garden that we can use for meals.- We are moving in a matter of months so we are no longer adding to our garden here. We will be starting a more permanent one in Texas.
4. Potty training James. Is on hold until we move to make moving easier for him.
5. Damian reading chapter books, Damian loves reading Chapter books now. He gets so excited when he finishes a whole book.
My goals
1. Get Fit with good friends- I am not going to lie, I have fallen off of the wagon a little.
2. To be able to run 6 miles in 1hour. Haven't been on the treadmill in weeks.
3.Be a better mother- I try, and I think that is what counts.
4.Be a better house keeper- More to follow...
1. No credit use- We are still on the right path and haven't used credit at all! This is a great rewarding feeling. We can do this.
2. To pay off 5 of 6 bills- Thank God for Taxes and pure motivation so from a total start debt of $17928.60 down to $12671. We found out that we are moving to Texas so we are saving all of our extra payments in hopes of buying our Next Home.
3. Vegetable garden that we can use for meals.- We are moving in a matter of months so we are no longer adding to our garden here. We will be starting a more permanent one in Texas.
4. Potty training James. Is on hold until we move to make moving easier for him.
5. Damian reading chapter books, Damian loves reading Chapter books now. He gets so excited when he finishes a whole book.
My goals
1. Get Fit with good friends- I am not going to lie, I have fallen off of the wagon a little.
2. To be able to run 6 miles in 1hour. Haven't been on the treadmill in weeks.
3.Be a better mother- I try, and I think that is what counts.
4.Be a better house keeper- More to follow...
Friday, January 8, 2010
7 Jan 2010
I forced myself on the treadmill by saying just get it done. I can do this. But really I mostly did 4.5 which is a fast walk for me. I did run at 7 for two whole minutes, and jogged at 5 for 5 minutes but really I walked on the treadmill. The the phone rang and I swear I almost praised god for sending me a diversion
Breakfast- 587
Lunch- 0
Dinner-445
Snack-182
My total Calories Today-1215
My goal Calories- 1500
Over or under? Why?- Under not for lack of trying I had two servings of the Enchilada Verdes for breakfast. One at 8 and the other at 10:30. I know it looks like I skiped a meal but really I had brunch too.
The best part of today - It is always Nap time.
The hardest part of today -Getting my but on the treadmill, I was glad when the phone rang so I had to get off.
Food Cravings - Enchilada Verdes, it was so good!
Best Advice of the week - Tomorrow is a new day.
Exercise - I did a 1.5 miles on the treadmill in 18 minutes. Not good But the important part here is I got on the dreadmill.
Last Weeks goals -
Goals for the week - Run 3 miles in under forty minutes.
How I worked towards my goals - I got on the treadmill.
Current Weight - 160
Next Weight in date- 31 Jan
Goal Weight loss for next weigh in - 3 pounds
Breakfast- 587
Lunch- 0
Dinner-445
Snack-182
My total Calories Today-1215
My goal Calories- 1500
Over or under? Why?- Under not for lack of trying I had two servings of the Enchilada Verdes for breakfast. One at 8 and the other at 10:30. I know it looks like I skiped a meal but really I had brunch too.
The best part of today - It is always Nap time.
The hardest part of today -Getting my but on the treadmill, I was glad when the phone rang so I had to get off.
Food Cravings - Enchilada Verdes, it was so good!
Best Advice of the week - Tomorrow is a new day.
Exercise - I did a 1.5 miles on the treadmill in 18 minutes. Not good But the important part here is I got on the dreadmill.
Last Weeks goals -
Goals for the week - Run 3 miles in under forty minutes.
How I worked towards my goals - I got on the treadmill.
Current Weight - 160
Next Weight in date- 31 Jan
Goal Weight loss for next weigh in - 3 pounds
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
6 Jan 2010
Dinner was good I would have happily drowned in calories so I guess it was a good thing I had ten minutes to enjoy my Enchilada Verda or else I might have. I think today was a good day.
Breakfast- 52
Lunch- 625
Dinner-607
Snack-426
My total Calories Today-1284
My goal Calories- 1500
Over or under? Why?- Under because I skipped breakfast. I wanted cottage cheese and even went in to get it but it was missing in action.
The best part of today - Nap time.
The hardest part of today -Makeing dinner while watching four kids until two of the four asked to go outside. YES.
Food (I can't have) Cravings - I ate them all yesterday so no bad cravings today.
Best Advice of the week - Tomorrow is a new day.
Exercise - None today unless chasing kids count. I will be on the treadmill tomorrow no excuses.
Last Weeks goals -
Goals for the week - Run 3 miles in under forty minutes.
How I worked towards my goals - I didn't even try today. I am going to change my running days to tuesdays, thursdays and fridays to be able to stay on track.
Current Weight - 160
Next Weight in date- 31 Jan
Goal Weight loss for next weigh in - 3 pounds
Breakfast- 52
Lunch- 625
Dinner-607
Snack-426
My total Calories Today-1284
My goal Calories- 1500
Over or under? Why?- Under because I skipped breakfast. I wanted cottage cheese and even went in to get it but it was missing in action.
The best part of today - Nap time.
The hardest part of today -Makeing dinner while watching four kids until two of the four asked to go outside. YES.
Food (I can't have) Cravings - I ate them all yesterday so no bad cravings today.
Best Advice of the week - Tomorrow is a new day.
Exercise - None today unless chasing kids count. I will be on the treadmill tomorrow no excuses.
Last Weeks goals -
Goals for the week - Run 3 miles in under forty minutes.
How I worked towards my goals - I didn't even try today. I am going to change my running days to tuesdays, thursdays and fridays to be able to stay on track.
Current Weight - 160
Next Weight in date- 31 Jan
Goal Weight loss for next weigh in - 3 pounds
off topic
Facebook is evil, well sometimes. A friend of mine has a baby and I posted a light comment that she was doing great and someone I don't even know jumped down my throat because she had more right to ask questions and get answered. Well women if you can't keep from telling someone else how to raise their children you are wrong! You need to be encouraging to new mothers and old mothers and all mothers in between. As mothers we are doing what we think is best for our own children. If you think you know better then another parent, then you are not paying enough attention to your children. If someone asks for your advice on a subject then please feel free to answer but if you are demanding a new breastfeeding mother to tell you why she is doing what she is doing on an otherwise sweet post you are wrong. WRONG. Delete your mean post and move on with your life. Also don't attack people you do not know for being encouraging. Get a life.
As for me normally I don't like to be confronting but this is my biggest pet peeve about women in general. So if your offended by being told to be nice then I don't care. Just be kind to one another, as mothers, as sisters we are all worrying to much about our children and if we are raising them right we do not need added pressure.
Anyway off my soap box my children are calling me. Look at the wasted energy I spent on telling some of you to be nice. I know my two followers are nice so it doesn't apply to you.
Be Happy and Nice today.
As for me normally I don't like to be confronting but this is my biggest pet peeve about women in general. So if your offended by being told to be nice then I don't care. Just be kind to one another, as mothers, as sisters we are all worrying to much about our children and if we are raising them right we do not need added pressure.
Anyway off my soap box my children are calling me. Look at the wasted energy I spent on telling some of you to be nice. I know my two followers are nice so it doesn't apply to you.
Be Happy and Nice today.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
5 Jan 2010
I am having a horrible time not eating the Christmas Candy this why diets suck. I was over my calories by almost 300. Oh well tomorrow is a new day. I think I can, I think I can. Yes I can...
Breakfast- 372
Lunch- 299
Dinner-677
Snack-426
My total Calories Today-1774
My goal Calories- 1500
Over or under? Why?- Over- Thin Mints and most of the box! I feel bad but as I finished them they won't tuant me anymore. I showed them!
The best part of today - The hour the boys were quiet.
The hardest part of today -I have a headach, which makes me grumpy.
Food (I can't have) Cravings - I failed on the restraining myself part of the day.
Best Advice of the week -
Exercise - None today unless cleaning counts and I think it should because it takes so much time and energy.
Last Weeks goals -
Goals for the week - Run 3 miles in under forty minutes.
How I worked towards my goals - Got on the treadmill Yesterday and I am hoping to get on it again tomorrow.
Current Weight - 160
Next Weight in date- 31 Jan
Goal Weight loss for next weigh in - 3 pounds
Breakfast- 372
Lunch- 299
Dinner-677
Snack-426
My total Calories Today-1774
My goal Calories- 1500
Over or under? Why?- Over- Thin Mints and most of the box! I feel bad but as I finished them they won't tuant me anymore. I showed them!
The best part of today - The hour the boys were quiet.
The hardest part of today -I have a headach, which makes me grumpy.
Food (I can't have) Cravings - I failed on the restraining myself part of the day.
Best Advice of the week -
Exercise - None today unless cleaning counts and I think it should because it takes so much time and energy.
Last Weeks goals -
Goals for the week - Run 3 miles in under forty minutes.
How I worked towards my goals - Got on the treadmill Yesterday and I am hoping to get on it again tomorrow.
Current Weight - 160
Next Weight in date- 31 Jan
Goal Weight loss for next weigh in - 3 pounds
Monday, January 4, 2010
Week 1 of goals
Family goals
1. No credit use- So far we are doing fine but there are two whole weeks between now and payday. I think we can make it on what we have.
2. To pay off 5 of 6 bills- We made a big payment to the smallest bill so That should be paid off on the first of Feb. I guess I should post our total starting debt.... 17928.60 after January's payments we will be down to 17253.72. So far we are on track to be debt free.
3. Vegetable garden that we actually get to use for whole meals over just fresh snacks in the yard. Rob planted the peas, broccoli, lettuces this weekend.
4. Potty training James, We bought him a potty training book which he seems to like. He is sitting on his potty chair while watching Mickey Mouse cartoons.
5. Damian reading chapter books, We started him on the magic tree house books and told him he could have a new one every time he finished one. So now it is just getting him to sit and read. The First book is Mummy's in the morning.
My goals
1. Get Fit with good friends- Today is my start day
2. To be able to run 6 miles in 1hour right now I can finish 3miles in 35 minutes and that is being nice.
3.Be a better mother- Made waffles for breakfast instead of letting the kids eat cereal.
4.Be a better house keeper- More to follow...
1. No credit use- So far we are doing fine but there are two whole weeks between now and payday. I think we can make it on what we have.
2. To pay off 5 of 6 bills- We made a big payment to the smallest bill so That should be paid off on the first of Feb. I guess I should post our total starting debt.... 17928.60 after January's payments we will be down to 17253.72. So far we are on track to be debt free.
3. Vegetable garden that we actually get to use for whole meals over just fresh snacks in the yard. Rob planted the peas, broccoli, lettuces this weekend.
4. Potty training James, We bought him a potty training book which he seems to like. He is sitting on his potty chair while watching Mickey Mouse cartoons.
5. Damian reading chapter books, We started him on the magic tree house books and told him he could have a new one every time he finished one. So now it is just getting him to sit and read. The First book is Mummy's in the morning.
My goals
1. Get Fit with good friends- Today is my start day
2. To be able to run 6 miles in 1hour right now I can finish 3miles in 35 minutes and that is being nice.
3.Be a better mother- Made waffles for breakfast instead of letting the kids eat cereal.
4.Be a better house keeper- More to follow...
Jan 4 2010
Breakfast- 496
Lunch- 403
Dinner-614
Snack-140
My total Calories Today-1654
My goal Calories- 1500
The hardest part of today -Not eating the cookies I made for the kids
Food (I can't have) Cravings - Wine... I failed on the restraining myself part of the day.
Best Advice of the week -
Exercise - Ran 1 miles before I couldn't breath, I think I was dehydrated because I know I can do better.
Last Weeks goals -
Goals for the week - Run 3 miles in under forty minutes.
How I worked towards my goals - Got on the treadmill today.
Current Weight - 160
Next Weight in date- 31 Jan
Goal Weight loss for next weigh in - 3 pounds
Lunch- 403
Dinner-614
Snack-140
My total Calories Today-1654
My goal Calories- 1500
Over or under? Why?- Over-A warm cup of mulled wine. It was so good!
The hardest part of today -Not eating the cookies I made for the kids
Food (I can't have) Cravings - Wine... I failed on the restraining myself part of the day.
Best Advice of the week -
Exercise - Ran 1 miles before I couldn't breath, I think I was dehydrated because I know I can do better.
Last Weeks goals -
Goals for the week - Run 3 miles in under forty minutes.
How I worked towards my goals - Got on the treadmill today.
Current Weight - 160
Next Weight in date- 31 Jan
Goal Weight loss for next weigh in - 3 pounds
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