The Bartlett Family Adventure is all about the moments that take my breath away as I grow in the glory of God, and live my life to the best of my ability while raising two rowdy boys. This blog is not just about me, it also includes stories of my family's daily adventures. We home school our boys, are trying to grow our fruits and vegetables, we are all on a journey to God, we are trying to live sustainably, and most importantly love the life we lead. Sometimes we stumble, but mostly I like to think we prevail. I am blogging to keep a sort of shared journal. Our life may be messy but it is perfect.
I love bad poetry especially when it is mine! Yay! I think it is funny to call it bad poetry even though secretly I really like but we all have different tastes. It is allowed to not like something, and to love something that may or may not be bad. Recently I learned that Emily Dickinson only published a dozen poems in her lifetime, it was only after her death that it was discovered that she wrote over 1800. Amazing. Also as an inspiring poet, fiction writer it is encouraging. I have written lots of poetry some of it bad, and some of it good. Poetry is something I write when I need to work through my emotions. This is the only thing that I write that might be considered non fiction (except you school paper. By the way I have 18.5 weeks left). I struggle with how much I belong in my writing and it is really my least favorite kind of writing because it is hard. In the past I did not value my work as much as I should have (crazy self esteem issues left over from my childhood) so I have lost an insane amount of work over the years due to being careless. I vow to stop being careless and more importantly value the talent God gave me. I hope you like my poem today. Hopefully I will bring you more work in the future. Also when I am finished with school I will be more active. I have a ton of projects in limbo which I decided to let sit until I am less distracted with what I am going to write for school.
I am
By Trisha Bartlett
Suffocating creativity
under the disguise
of teaching and learning.
Inspiration lost
in expectation.
My voice
transforming
unrecognizable
flat and boring.
This is me
on the page.
I cannot
will not
change
to simply please you.
Today I was thinking (surprising I know) about all of the
dreams, hopes, goals, and random things that generally make me really very happy.
I love being a mother, a wife, and I
love being home with my children. I also love a really good scenic route, where
the roads twist and wind and suddenly you are faced with impossible beauty. I
love taking life slowly, getting lost, and falling down. I love mistakes and
socks. I love to learn and I adore a fantastic challenge. Really I often find
myself struggling to complete something (a paper for school, a dress, a
painting, a complicated recipe, a story, crochets, and so on), I ask myself out
loud, "Why have I done this again!" But I am smiling because I know I
can do it. I try to teach my children that anything worth having takes hard work
and lots of mistakes.
I love mistakes and mishaps. That moment when you know how
to fix the problem and do it better next time is the best feeling in the world.
Awesome. I am not perfect and between you and me I do not want to be either. Perfection
is boring. I am not saying not to be great at something. That is not the case.
What I mean is never stop trying to be better because once you (my own belief
only) think you cannot get any better you stagnate. I never want to stop
growing as a person. So hey I invite you to critic me (nicely). I know that my grammar
needs improvement. I know that I can be quirky and messy and slightly to the left.
All of those things are pieces of me.
Sometimes I worry a lot more than necessary. I bite my lower
lib and consider the path I have taken. From my current view point it looks
long and there is a few twists and turns ahead that make my heart beat faster.
What is around the bend? Who am I going to be? I am I too old to. . .? Sometimes it feels more like panic and
it can be extremely destructive. Where is my crystal ball? What are the mysteries
waiting for me?
Most of these questions have no right or wrong answer. Right
now I am scheduled to graduate college with a Bachelors Degree in English in
2018. It feels like forever and ever. Really I get to teach my children what to
expect out of college. That it is never too late to chase a dream or to change
a dream or take a chance and to believe in themselves. They see me struggle,
but they see me succeed too. I hope that when they are adults facing the world
they take the road less traveled. They always know that they are worth it, and
deserve to be happy.
As you know all know I am a writer. That is what makes me
the happiest. My heart beats lyrics, and I bleed ink. Okay not really but when
I write I feel accomplished. I am proud and at peace. I have known that I have
wanted to be a writer since I was eight. But through a series of very unfortunate
events I had no confidence in my ability. I did not know my own worth. That is
really why I chose English as a degree to help me improve, to help me build my
confidence. So when the time comes I will take a leap of faith and finally
learn to fly. Yes, I know that I can be a writer without education. For me it
is a milestone that I want to place on my road, A sign that says, "Oh,
Yes. I can."
Do you know what makes you happy? That little whisper at the
center of your heart. Yes, that one. Be happy my friend. Make mistakes, take a
chance and follow your dreams. Yes, you can. You can do anything you want to
do. You are amazing and worth it.
I think we need a song
I love this song. It makes me happy.
Oh be doo, Okay, it is still my favorite movie.
This is my all time favorite track, song, music. It speaks to me.
I hope that your day is filled with inspiration, love, and laughter. Be well my friend.
I have decided that I have a super power. What is it you ask? Well I am too dumb to quit when I am in over my head. For example I don't always read straight through recipes and when it starts to seem a little off I improvise and it usually turns out better than it might have been. I started college to encourage my sister in law to go back to school (she is four months younger than I am. If I can do anyone can). I am finishing up my freshman year and starting my Sophomore year (Sounds better than if I told you that it is my third year I am starting. Yeah, I will be graduating in 2018-2020). When I was 19 I got married (to a really incredible guy, best decision I ever made) and we are still married. I decided teach myself how to drive at 18 (Lucky for everyone I got better). I also wanted to sew (and sew I did on a very bad machine with no knowledge of how it was supposed to work). This leads me to my new wonderfully horrible idea, I am going to make my own clothes. I started with a skirt (let me tell you guessing your ways through reading a pattern can give you a major headache.), I do not know how to read a pattern so with a little imagination and a little help from youtube it is almost finished. Why yes I will take a picture of it when it is finished.
My super power is maybe less about being too dumb to quit and more about following a dream, or being determined to finish what I start. I think it is funnier to say my super power is being to dumb to quit. Do you have a super power? I bet you do, and I am willing to bet it is really wonderful. Sometimes I wish my super power was a little more OCD so that the house would stay clean. Yes, if you are a wonderful house keeper than it is a super power. We all have something special to offer the world, and we all should be proud of who we are. Yes Friend that means you too.
I hope you embrace your super power and that your week is filled with Love and Laughter. Be well my friends.
