Rosary in the Garden

Earlier I wrote that I wanted to bring an uplift to my attitude and my life. Well on my way out the back door to water the garden I looked at this beautiful piece of art that was made for me and my family. Notice all the color reflected onto the window sill. I was inspired.

 To bring my new Rosary outside with me. Which is also a lovely handmade gift I received from a very dear friend for Easter. 

After I took these pictures I went in and printed out How to recite the Holy Rosary and sat the kids down and we said the first part of the Rosary together. James who is three listened as long as he could before he was off to find peas in the garden. After our short lesson I watered the lawn while I did the entire rosary. At time I could feel the lord walking next to me in the garden. I was filled with the holy spirit. I hope that I can say the Rosary everyday during this chore.  I learned two prayers today, well a couple more than that but these two surprised me. I will share them with you.

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.

O my Jesus, forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of hell, lead all souls to Heaven, especially those who have the most need of your mercy.

AMEN.

Look at these prayers, we are praying for people who have the most need. The most need not the most devoted or the people with the most belief, we are praying for people with the most need. It is not solitary, we are praying for all people in the world to find the peace of our father. I feel like this is the right path.

A change in attitude

My attitude needs an uplift. The person I want to be is a happy positive honest person. I am honest, and I am happy. I wonder if there is a way to be more positive? This seems to be a big shift in an attitude that will effect everyone in my life and maybe I will become happier as a result. The month of May will be a month of self discovery and hopefully it will be uplifting as well. So I will start by finding at least one positive thing in my day. I have a few built in with having two beautiful children and I am married to the man I love, who loves me. Since I can not photograph love and laughter I will look for the glory of God in my life. I want to post a picture of my discovery each day. I might not post everyday but I will most days. It is time I find the adventure and start living in the glory of God. Wish me luck.

Psalm 18:1-6

" I will love you, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised; So shall I be saved from my enemies. The pangs of death surround me, and the floods of ungodliness made me afraid. The sorrows of Sheoi surrounded me; the snares of death confronted me. In my distress I called upon the Lord, and cried out to my God; He heard my voice from His temple, and my cry came before Him, even to His ears. "

It's a fools Birthday

My birthday. Please hold your applause. Every year on my birthday I wake up and wonder who will remember me today. To my surprise I already had text messages from facebook friends(of course facebook reminds people), I had text messages and even an email from friends. Why the wonder, well growing up my mother never celbrated my birthday on my birthday. Not once. Then after I left the nest she has never bothered to call to say Happy Birthday. I have a complex and I dread the disappointment that waits for me on my birthday. When Damian got up he gave me a homemade card to wish me a happy birthday and a big hug. James gave me a kiss and told me he is hungy. I wonder what the day will bring. I need to take a math test so I don't have to do it this weekend, and make Damian do various forms of schoolwork. It is a new day, but the same as the other days. I feel no different, no older, or wiser. In fact I feel slightly unnerved by my general lack of information especially now that I am in college, a bit disappointed because I have stopped losing weight after 9 pounds two months ago, and  a little stuck since Rob took the car today and I have no desire to brush up on my manual driving skills to use his truck. As for older well I still like a girl, although I am a woman with children and wrinkles. I just wish the lower half of my body would start to shrink so that I could pretend to look like I feel.

Today is a song, a blessing from above, a gift and not just for me. So for my birthday all I ask is that each of you have a beautiful day, kick up your heels, dance, eat, drink and be merry. GO out for one night and make a fool out of your self, laugh and think of me. Be blessed.

The Unsaid

I wonder why women don't talk about all the things that we leave unsaid. We are supposed to be the more nurturing, caring of the two sexes but often we are are the ones who are the most judgmental. We are guilty of worrying over every minute detail and guilty of worrying over all that we are failing at while we do one thing right. We can not take the good because we are worried about all that we can't do. When the days are darkest women are the ones who close up and lose the strength to admit failure. We all struggle but are afraid to show our weaknesses. There is a conversation that we should have but we are to afraid of ridicule. I know I have many days and many thoughts that are left without a voice.  I wonder how many other woman do not voice their fears, or speak more cheerily about what is going on. We are not perfect but we all want each other to believe that we are. I have opened up and asked, "Does this happen to you?". Often the response is silence or worse no never. I quickly let the subject go. I can not be the only one who doesn't know what to do. I can not be the only one who feels lost. Why can't we let the guard down and say, "It is sometimes hard for me too. You are not alone." Instead I am left feeling like less, like I am failing. I wonder am I guilty of making someone else feel that their worries, or fears are theirs alone?

From me to you; You are not alone. We all are secretly struggling at one time or another. We are in this together. If I ever make you feel like you are less than what you are call me out. I am not perfect. In fact I am so far removed from perfect it is not even a relative. I only know what I have lived, and I often mean well. If I don't come off that way ask me about it. I will explain to the best of my abilities. You are worth more than what you feel that you are, you are doing better than you think you are, and everyone whether they admit to it or not has the same kind of doubts.

Today I write

 I am a writer at heart and I am happiest when I am able to create on paper. Today I found the words. I have been worried over a notebook filled with my poetry. It got lost somehow in the move. I am sure it is in the house, I hope it is. I was worried that my words were lost. So today when they rushed toward me I happily picked up a pen and let them spill from my lips. Today I share it with you. I am happy.

I see you
the browns and blues
shinning bright
looking right
to the desire
where the heart
attempts to still
the beat
slowing time
rushing by

Settle Now
before you
turn those browns and blues
away to shine bright
for anothers sight

Day 30: A picture of someone you miss

Day 30: A picture of someone you miss

 Considering that we just moved to a new state I do miss a lot of people. Besides Damian who is in most of the pictures, although it could be said that I miss this age, and myself, I miss all of these people. This is my grandparents house. When we are home we usually sit at this table. My grandmother rarely lets me cook because I am never home for long. My grandfather who is a big kid himself. My uncle, cousins, and my nieces (I only have posted and as of this year I have three nieces). I am missing being a part of my family's lives, of them being part of my own. Time does not stand still, only stretching until I return home to older different people. Maybe I am the one who is different and my realization that time can be unfriendly to people that we love. I am guilty of holding the last picture I have of a person in my head until I see them again. I am missing a life that is not my own. I miss being an active part of a big family instead of a bystander listening for news over the telephone. If you can't tell I am more than a little home sick.

Day 29: A picture that always makes you smile.

Day 29: A picture that always makes you smile.

There is no butts about it. Every time I get to look at old pictures of the kids and even Rob and I, I smile. The memories that we have made together come alive again for a fleeting moment. I really need to work on printing out pictures. I am years behind printing pictures and putting them in photo albums. We are lucky to have such a good life together. I am lucky to have beautiful, healthy, happy family.